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I’ve worn many hats over the years. I’ve been a radio disc jockey, a film director and cinematographer, a video editor. I worked with a great music supervisor, I created a podcast and I even tried my hand at stand-up comedy. But the one job title that I’ve always carried with me has been that of a writer. In fact, none of my prior jobs has ever not included writing as a key component of it at some point. And yet I’ve fought it endlessly as being a job in and of itself.

A lot of it has to do with a lack of confidence in my abilities to truly be a writer, in particular a published author. And despite the fact that I have written dozens of scripts (mostly short form, but a script all the same) I always viewed writing as a component of another job rather than the job itself.

That changed a few months ago and now I find myself in a daily struggle between past, present and future. I debate embracing my past life as a camera person and video editor. Money is nice I say. And then I read my current draft of my book and one day I love it and the next day I want to burn it to the ground. But when the dust settles on the day I’m still a writer and it’s an incredible feeling. Stressful as all hell? Sometimes. But when the words and stars align, it’s the great feeling ever and I’m incredibly proud.

I guess the point of today’s post is to just stick with it. I’ve stopped everything a few times in my life and said, “I’m a writer!” and then got scared, quit and went back to my normal job and depression soon followed. Apparently I just wasn’t ready yet or I was too scared to commit. Those days are done though. I’m a writer and if you want to be one, just be one and don’t overthink it because you need that brain power to tell your stories.

Happy writing my friends!

I’ve been watching the Neil Gaiman Masterclass lately and he had the simplest, but oh so good, piece of advice. He suggested taking a common cliché and just turn it a little bit to make it different.

In his short story “October Tale”, he wrote about a genie and the woman who rubs the lamp. Rather than following the common beliefs about genies and the three wishes, he asks the big what if, as in what if the person who got the wishes doesn’t need them. It’s such a cute story and adds a completely original twist to a fairly commonplace story.

For me this advice was huge. I’ve been struggling with my book’s second draft because I felt like I was following too many tropes. By turning things just a little bit here and there my entire story is blossoming in a fresh and exciting direction.

Short post, quick thought.

It bothers me when people say they hate the Patriots or any other sports team that is consistently successful. This strikes me as a loser mentality. Now I’m not saying that I think those people are losers, I get it, it can be frustrating when you want something and someone else always seems to get it. But the problem here isn’t the winning team, it’s your attitude about them.

Instead of disregarding them, maybe it’s time to start looking at what they do right. Robert Kraft is a good team owner. He doesn’t cave to an ego centric player’s demands, but he is loyal to players who have done him right. On any other team, Tom Brady would be out and Jimmy Garappolo would be the starter (as a Niners fan, thankfully this isn’t the case), but Kraft knows that Brady isn’t just a football player. He’s smart, he’s loyal and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win. Tom Brady also has an insanely dedicated regiment to his life as a football player. Sorry, but he makes sacrifices that most athletes would never make.

I grew up cheering for the Lakers during the Magic and Kobe eras, I get it, people get tired of seeing the same team win all the time especially when you don’t live in a big city. Nowadays, it’s the Warriors era in basketball. Do I hate them? Nope. I want to beat them and I know my Lakers aren’t complacent and sitting back griping about it they’re doing their best to get back on top, because that’s what winners do. And at the end of the day, doing your best has to be enough, even if you’re the Rams.

As the Super Bowl rolls into our lives today I keep seeing stories of bitter Saints fans complaining about how their team was robbed because of a bad call. In my quick opinion, yes it was a bad call, but your defense still failed to stop the Rams on the next possession and that Brees interception didn’t happen because of a bad call.

Either way this whole thing has me thinking about taking accountability for one’s actions instead of focusing on someone else’s. Personally I do this far too much in my writing or more specifically, my lack of it.

I woke up too late, I got sidetracked on an errand, I watched TV, I browsed the web…the excuses pile up higher than my dirty laundry which will of course become another excuse.

It’s time as a writer and as a person to stop blaming the world and to start looking in the mirror. It’s not Game of Thrones’s fault I didn’t hit my page count today, it’s 100% me. And until I can wake up every day and remember that, life will just end up being a series of bad calls and I’ll never achieve my goals.

I’m a big fan of both, but only one gives me anxiety, which would be our dear friend writing. And so when I’m stressing out and wanting to quit I remind myself of how related they truly are.

When you are cooking a dish you think about what you want to make (idea), then you go to the cupboard or store and get the ingredients (characters, settings, basic plot), after that you follow a recipe (outline, beat sheet) and when it’s done you cook/eat it (publish). Sometimes it’s good, other times it’s inedible, but no matter what you know you’re going to be eating again in a few hours so you have to move on.

I’m sure I read this somewhere along the way and I wish I could credit the originator of this theory. Either way, it’s a very comforting analogy and one that gets me through a lot of tough spots. I love to cook, I do it almost every night for dinner and it calms me down after a long day of writing. Which makes it all the more ironic I suppose that I find the two tasks so similar. Cooking rarely stresses me out, so I look forward to the day when I can treat the two tasks equally.

Happy writing and happy eating 😉

I finally finished the first draft of my new book, The Children of the Screaming Church. Unfortunately, this draft is closer to being a major rewrite than a final version, but such is life. My characters are sounds, my dialogue is pretty good, but my plot is still not feeling right. What was that quote from the Big Lebowski, “Sometimes you eat the bar/bear and sometimes, well, he eats you.” So onwards and upwards to draft number two!